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 Hollow beginnings 2

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Evenar

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Male Number of posts : 248
Age : 27
Registration date : 2009-08-02

PostSubject: Hollow beginnings 2   Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:10 pm

Dieter lay there crying, he had seen his son and wife killed before his eyes. He could not move, his breathing was heavy, and something heavy was weighing down on his chest. He could not comprehend what was happening. Some invisible enemy had taken everything he truly loved. “DADDY!”

Dieter's head shot round. Against the setting sun he saw a shadowy outline of a child. The tears streaming form his face blurred his vision, hiding the boy form his sight. It called out again for him, the terror in the voice couldn't mask it completely, it was Matthias, it had to be, but how?

Dieter turned onto his front, something big and heavy fell form his chest, pulling him down slightly. Looking down at his chest he saw the long chain attached to it, actually part of him, like a new limb. Struggling to his knees Dieter fought the pain he felt in his chest and pulled himself upright. Staring at the child he saw his son too had a chain dragging from his chest. “Matty!”

getting onto his feet Dieter stumbled over. “Daddy, what happened to us?” Stopping, Dieter realised his son had a point. He remembered seeing his son killed, remembered tearing claws, and now there was a chain attached to him, the grief that had overridden his mind was being overpowered by his curiosity.

“Always the same Dieter, nothing ever changes.” The voice came from above, sweet like honey, Dieter felt like he should know it, but as he looked up he knew there was no way he had ever seen something so horrific. Black skin, darker than night, covered the thing. It was human sized, it may have passed for a human at Halloween, the angular mask with pincers and antenna would certainly have fit. Thin membranous wings seemed to keep it aloft, but such levitation was not biologically possible. “Even in this much danger, even after you and your family are dead, you are still thinking things through logically.”

“What are you? And if I'm dead, are you some form of reaper?” Dieter stepped closer to his son, the small lad was trembling beneath the shadow of the creature, trying to stay out of sight. “And if we are dead, where is Melinda?”

“That bitch, she somehow passed on instantly. I wish she had remained, I so wanted to destroy her.” The creature floated down to the ground, landing before Dieter as the man shielded his child. “And no, I'm not a filthy reaper. I'm actually hurt you don't remember me.” There was genuine pain in the things words. “Look at my face.” The thing smashed it's fist into it's face, revealing a portion of the human flesh underneath. “Look at me and remember.”

Half her face was revealed, long red hair drooped out of the wounded mask, and brilliant green eyes shone out at Dieter. The slim lines of her face were familiar, the hair, the eyes, he knew them, he could not forget. Her mask reformed, sealing off her face form view, but Dieter could not get the image out of his mind. “Genevieve.”

“So you do remember, but it's too late. You forgot me, forgot all we had, and gave it up for that woman.” The thing walked over to Dieter, forcing him and his son back. Looking behind it he finally noticed his dead body, it was torn up, rips through it's flesh and clothing. It was true, he was dead, and this woman was real. “I died and you mourned, you forsook every other woman for ten years, then you met her, and she stole you from me. Made you forget me, used this brat as a way to erase me form your mind. I managed to retain my sanity for twenty years. Most souls would have fallen in one, yet I stuck by you. But that day when you let her throw out my picture, you killed me.”

Dieter could not understand. This thing was beyond him, beyond science, it could not exist yet it did. “What do you mean? What happened to you?” Dieter could feel his son holding onto his leg, shaking with fear the child was crying, he understood even less. “Why are you doing this.”

“There are two types of soul. You, a plus, and me a hollow. I was a plus, but the despair and heartache you caused me forced me to fall into this state. You did this to me, you caused this pain in my heart, this unseemly hole that can never be filled. There is only one way to end this pain, I want us to be together again.”

Genevieve appeared behind Dieter, holding his son away from him. “Your thief of a wife is in soul society now, I can leave your son here, he'll be taken by a soul reaper, taken to meet her, as long as you willingly join me.”

“I don't want to leave him.”

“You will become a hollow, or he will die.” Dieter's heart sank, he could not fight in life, and his breathing was harder now more than ever. And his former wife was far faster than him, probably stronger, and with god knows what powers. “Choose Dieter, I know you've already thought through the options.”

“What must I do?” Genevieve smiled, her mask seeming to crack as she did so. Her unique cackle of a laugh, the one that had made Dieter laugh all that time ago came forth, but now it was a haunting tune to him. Her hands grasped his chain, tugging on it, and tore it free from his chest. The pain was intense, like being boiled alive, but what came next was even worse.

He felt like he was being ripped in two, his chest was leaking some white material, it was neither solid or liquid, and where it touched it burned. It crawled over his flesh before he exploded into shards. Even as he moved through the air as nothing he felt the pain, it was all he could feel, all he knew. Reforming in a nearby tree he he felt the pain replaced by something worse, a deeper agony, one of loss, despair, hate, everything. There was no joy no release, only terror and pain.

Genevieve watched as the strange new hollow fell and scuttled out of his tree. It looked like the abdomen of a spider, with six legs sprouting from it, but then instead of a front portion, a torso rose up out of it, with long spindly arms. “Dieter, your magnificent.”

“Daddy?” The boy in her hands managed to squirm out of them, falling to the ground it ran over to the new hollow. “Daddy!”

“Shut it brat.” Genevieve smacked the child over the head, sending him flying into the ground. “He's not your daddy anymore, he's my husband again, us two, a new life, a new existence, we can be together again, and there's so much I want to show him, a magnificent city.”

“Genevieve come here!” Dieter's voice was hard, commanding. It drew the woman's attention to him, and away from the boy. “You have me, we can be together again.” Opening his arms, Dieter walked falteringly to his former wife. Every step in this new body was awkward, but he made progress. His wife ran over, embracing, trying to siphon what good feeling he had to calm her own loneliness. “We can be together.” Dieter whispered softly into her ears, holding her close, feeling her calm at his touch. “”But we won't”

Dieter coughed up a wad of white webbing instinctively, the net of the stuff hit the woman in the face, covering her eyes completely. She tried to reach up and pull it away from her face, but her hands got stuck, only to have Dieter shoot another couple of web balls into her, holding her hands in place. She struggled against her bonds, trying to pull her arms away, but they would not break away. Dieter knew she would eventually break free, even a fly if given enough time may break a spiders trap, but he would not give her the luxury.

“No body threatens my son and lives, not even you.” Raising his legs up high, Dieter brought them crashing down on the woman. The thin points punctured her slightly, but not deeply enough to be a severe wound. Again and again, he laid into her, trying to kill her, but she was tough. “Die bitch.”

She tried to fly into the air, but Dieter shot a webline at her ankle, holding her in places, before pulling her down again to crush her skull. The work was hard, but he eventually did it, he eventually killed her. Covered in blood and dirt, Dieter sank to his lower knees. “What have I done?”

“Daddy?” His son's voice was barely above a whisper. “Daddy help.” Turning Dieter saw a man in black holding a blade over his son. As soon as he noticed him he was overwhelmed by a feeling of energy, he could sense the man, he did not know how, but he could. “Daddy?” The man slammed the hilt of his blade onto his son's head, and the boy disappeared, every trace of him was gone, even his energy.

“WHAT DID YOU DO!”

_________________
Name: Dieter Webb
Race: Hollow
Rank: Hollow
Age: 42
Zanpakuto:?

LV2
-spirit stats-
Hp 10
reiatsu 10

-Body stats-
strength 0
endurance 2
agility 5
reiatsu control 5

-fighting skills stats-
swordsmanship 0
cero 7
unarmed 0
shunpo 5

exp
12/50

earned techniques
cero
bala
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Yorudan

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Male Number of posts : 153
Age : 30
Location : US of A
Registration date : 2009-09-19

PostSubject: Re: Hollow beginnings 2   Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:31 pm

LMFAO at the "Die bitch!" part. oh god...hilarious.

Great story. You could use a bit more eloquence in some areas but I like the creative aspects of this. There were some grammatical errors that through the flow off a bit when reading but they are negligible.

8 EXP afro

_________________
Yorudan
Level 2
EXP 12/50
Unseated Officer
Age: 42
Shikai:  Saihoushi , Shitateya, Cut the strings that fasten...
-Spirit-
hp 20
reiatsu 20
-Body-
strength 5
agility 7
endurance 0
reiatsu control 0
-Skills-
swordsmanship 12
unarmed 0
kido 0
shunpo 0
"To truly master your blade, your mind must be sharper than the edge of your instrument."
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