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 Maximus Ariya, Stones in a Pond

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Male Number of posts : 61
Age : 26
Location : Somewhere...
Registration date : 2009-10-21

PostSubject: Maximus Ariya, Stones in a Pond   Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:02 am

Max smiled slightly, a whisper upon his lips as he brought his wooden katana up in a sweeping motion, its blur of a motion connecting resoundingly against his foe, a tall broad shouldered man with long white hair pulled into a ponytail. His eyes where a storm-cloud color and his form swift and strong at once. A deep throaty roar ripped from his throat and he stepped forwards his blade coming down to meet Max's. The man was his mentor, Draelin Sojourn, and one of the most dangerous forces he'd ever crossed blades with.

Draelin's strike was heavier, and more focused. It knocked Max back a few steps, and had it not been for Draelin's mercy, Max would not have recovered in time. Though saying he'd had any mercy would anger Draelin, the man was intent in seeing Max rise through the ranks, swiftly and powerfully, like an unstoppable force. Though Max had no idea why... Already, Max had been told he would be given a chance for a seat within his Squad, and the idea filled him with pride. Holding a seat would make him one of his squad's recognized strongest!

Max stepped forwards and leapt, Draelin swinging his blade around in an upwards slash. The two blades connected, resounding gallantly throughout the area. The violence rose to a new level as Draelin used the deflected strike to close in on Max, and as he came within reach, struck him hard across his torso...

A bruise already beggining to form, Max flew for meters before crashing into a wall. His chest and back exploding violently in pain, but as it came, it went, replaced with a hard pain in his arm where Draelin kicked him across the field. They stood in a sandy field used to harvest blood and sweat from the shinigami in the form of training spars...

The sand was stained a permanent crimson from ages of brutal training, its combatants vying to become the best they could... But even that was not enough for the current times... Hollow activity was skyrocketing, but for some reason, Max had been cycled into the field only once. It pained him to not hold high amounts of kills, he needed a reputation which it seemed he would never have the chance to build... But if he could not do it on the field of battle, he would do it in training spars.

Max returned to the battle as he fell to the earth, his body slamming across the stained sand... His entire body howled with pain as he pushed himself up, and as he rose, Draelin gave a pleased smile... Max returned the smile with a bloody-mouthed sneer, the final words of his whisper erupting from his mouth, loud enough for Draelin to hear...

"Bakudo 3: Hikari-no Mekurumeku!" Max said, throwing his hand before himself as Draelin reeled back to stop his headlong charge, but too late... The flash of deathly white blinded Draelin, his eyes ghosting images blurred beyond understanding, and as his vision refocused, the striking wooden blade of Maximus Ariya slammed into his temple, sending him flailing into a far-off structure... Draelin laid there for a few moments then stood, a booming laugh escaping him...

"Congradulations, child," he chuckled approaching Max, his arms held up in surrender, "I take this as a defeat, for you have improved greatly. Lets see if you can handle your own against some of your Squads' seated in the coming days."

"I will do more then that," Max hissed venomously, "I will crush them under my heels."

"Lets see you do that," Draelin snickered, "Lets see you do that, for Ariya Yakuza."

"For Ariya Yakuza," Max said nodding in return, the faces of his fallen brothers and sisters returning to the fore of his mind, "For them I shall never fall."
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Male Number of posts : 61
Age : 26
Location : Somewhere...
Registration date : 2009-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Maximus Ariya, Stones in a Pond   Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:02 pm

Finished, now, show me the exp! J/k, but seriously, finished.
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Male Number of posts : 248
Age : 28
Registration date : 2009-08-02

PostSubject: Re: Maximus Ariya, Stones in a Pond   Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:28 am

resounding gallantly throughout the area

sounds a bit wrong, to resound gallantly, it's more of a thing you are, like you are gallant, whereas resound implies some form of loud noise or echo.

i am also alot harsher with trainings than omakes, (you'll probably never get 25/25)
but this was a good one so 20xp

Name: Dieter Webb
Race: Hollow
Rank: Hollow
Age: 42

-spirit stats-
Hp 10
reiatsu 10

-Body stats-
strength 0
endurance 2
agility 5
reiatsu control 5

-fighting skills stats-
swordsmanship 0
cero 7
unarmed 0
shunpo 5


earned techniques
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