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 Bloodbath Reunion 2

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Nitronie

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Female Number of posts : 76
Age : 27
Location : Oblivion
Registration date : 2009-08-27

PostSubject: Bloodbath Reunion 2   Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:32 pm

The first day of his new existence, Loki had tasted the flesh and blood of a chain person. It had been delicious, invigorating, and had awakened a hunger within him that had made him hunt down even more of them. On that same day, he had tasted the blood of someone else: "Maximus Ariya," he had called himself. The blood had been intoxicating, making him dizzy with its overwhelming flavor of raw power. He had hunted for this scent too, had actually craved it more than the chain people that had sustained him, but he had yet to come across it again.

But now, as his jaws sunk deep into the shoulder of the Skull Greymon-Bee, Loki discovered a new flavor, rivaling that of Maximus Ariya. Rich and thick, Loki whimpered in delight as the thick liquid poured down his throat, overriding his sense with its lusciousness, its pure energy, and the tantalizing hint of madness....

With a sudden burst of strength, Loki's hunger awoke, and he immediately became its slave, desperately trying to find purchase on the bee's back in order to rip the chunk of flesh he held in his teeth from the bone. His claws sliced into its wings as his back legs scratch holes in its abdomen. The bee began to struggle too, frantically trying to twist its arms behind its back to rip him off and gouging at his eyes. The hardened flesh around Loki's face managed to protect him from the latter attack, and so Loki managed to hang on, even as his efforts to do so impeded the bee's ability to fly and they both fell to the ground, rolling and wrestling each other as they did so. Eventually, though, the bee managed to get an appendage into one of Loki's eyeballs, bursting the orb and causing Loki's whole body to spasm for a moment from the shock and pain. As a result, Loki's claws clenched around the bee's wings, and the left one broke off with a loud snap.

The bee's reaction to the pain was less violent than Loki's had been. It screamed, letting out a roar akin to the one earlier that had reminded him of Skull Greymon, and, just like earlier, Birdramon appeared above them, swooping down to the bee's aid. The worst of it was that Loki was now on top, having used the bee's lapse in concentration to pin it to the ground. He was even ready to rip away the bee's flesh when he felt the shadow fall over him. As he glanced up, he saw the bird baring down on them, beak wide open to pick him off the bee.

In shear panic, Loki switched positions with the bee using his grip on it's shoulder to force the change and his hind legs to launch it upwards, letting go with his teeth at the last second, but ripping the other wing off in the process. Thus, with no wings, the bee had no way of changing trajectories, and the bird wasn't looking at where it was biting. The bee slammed into the bird's mouth, and the bird's jaws snapped closed around it automatically. As soon as they did, Loki flipped himself to his feet and launched himself at the bird's throat. His target had been the bird's jugular, but with his right eye a pool of blood and puss, his aim was off and his teeth closed over the bend in the bird's throat instead---just as the bee made its way through the spot from the inside, effectively stopping the bee's progress.

The bird choked, the bee began to thrash, and Loki clamped down harder to keep from being thrown off.

Suddenly, massive talons came up to swat Loki off the bird's throat, but Loki had been lucky. Though not the original point he had aimed for, it was at just the right spot that the talons couldn't reach him on their stubby legs. Just a little higher or lower and he would have been a goner, but as it was, he was safe....

Still, he wouldn't mind having a better grip. Especially if it would give him the leverage to tear through the bird's throat, which had the same addicting taste as the bee. So he reached up, sunk his claws into the bird's throat too, and slowly began pulling himself up by swing from one side up the other. It was treacherous going, especially as the bird itself thrashed its neck trying to open up its wind pipe, but finally he had his arms wrapped all the way around the bird's neck, great holes and gashes littering the flesh within the encirclement. Then he braced his feet on the bottom of the throat, ready to push down if his neck muscles alone weren't enough to render flesh from bone.

He needn't have worried though, as it turned out, for when the bee's stinger suddenly shot through the throat between Loki's teeth and imbedded itself in Loki's lower jaw, Loki's whole body clenched, his feet slamming down, and with a sound akin to ripping fabric, the bird's head popped off.

Then it dissolved.

Loki let out a confused yelp muffled by the bee's stinger and brought his teeth down harder to keep the flesh within from dissolving too. His teeth thus sunk through the bee where he gripped it in his mouth, chomping off the stinger just as the two of them smashed into the ground. Then the whole of Loki's meal exploded from his mouth as all the air rushed from his body and his head slammed against the hard earth. Loki's let out a single whine over the loss of his food as his consciousness began to fade, but his final image was of his sensei bending over the bee with a paper charm. And then it all went black.
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Evenar

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Male Number of posts : 248
Age : 27
Registration date : 2009-08-02

PostSubject: Re: Bloodbath Reunion 2   Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:37 am

Nitronie wrote:
. Thus, with no wings, the bee had no way of changing trajectories, and the bird wasn't looking at where it was biting.

reading that bit felt a bit forced, as if you really wanted to make sure the reader understood the physics of the act, making sure they didn't question wh the bee didn't move. it just felt a tiny bit out of place.

i normally would let that slide, but your often too good, so i have to find something to penelize you on. 9/10

_________________
Name: Dieter Webb
Race: Hollow
Rank: Hollow
Age: 42
Zanpakuto:?

LV2
-spirit stats-
Hp 10
reiatsu 10

-Body stats-
strength 0
endurance 2
agility 5
reiatsu control 5

-fighting skills stats-
swordsmanship 0
cero 7
unarmed 0
shunpo 5

exp
12/50

earned techniques
cero
bala
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