Darkness. Darkness was everywhere as she ran. Ran everywhere. Ran nowhere. Just ran, with no place to go. Where could she go? Where was a place that the creature breathing hot air across her heals could not find her, catch her, and kill her? What did she even hope to accomplish by running? Eventually her breathe would shorten to mere gasps, the adrenaline would burn from her veins, and her muscles would give out, and most likely all before the creature on her tail's stamina did the same. So what was the point? Did she think someone was going to come and save her? That some guy would just jump out of nowhere and rescue the poor damsel in distress? Why would she think that, after the way she had died, alone, abandoned in an alley way? No one had come. No matter how loud she screamed, no one came until it was too late. And no one would come now. No, heroes didn't exist. Just monsters and their victims. And she was a victim. As she tripped and fell with her hope, she knew she was a victim and with all surety that the white fox demon that suddenly loomed over her was a monster. A monster that would tear out her throat and eat her alive....
Loki blinked awake to darkness, and almost thought he was still in the dream, still trapped in that endless darkness as the white fox chased him....until his eyes adjusted and he realized where he was. With a sharp shake of his head, Loki shook off the dream and the foreign emotions that came with it, and got up to examine the area. He had never really been inside it before, just stared at it from the outside, curious to see what was hidden in the small shrine behind Sensei's house. Now he didn't have to wonder, he was there, and, as he moved to the door to get more light to explore the place by, he discovered he was sealed in.
With a great bang of light, Loki was thrown back against a nearby pillar and sat there dazed for a few seconds as his eyes adjusted back. Then he shook his head again and stared at the door in wonder. He had never seen a force field before! No....wait....he had. Once, just before he had pasted out. Sensei had used the force field to ward off the bee....
Did that make this Sensei's doing? Had Sensei trapped him in here? He could do that? How much cooler could Sensei get? Because before Loki's life had changed, Sensei had been awesome. Now....now he was Supreme!!! Loki jumped to his feet in excitement, unable to sit still as he paced before the door, looking it over from top to bottom, trying to discover how the force field worked. On the battlestar there had been a main force field generator, but Sensei had used it on his person. Shield generators? They were smaller and more compact, right? But as Loki looked the shrine doors up and down, pricking his ears up to listen, he heard no tell-tale hum of machinery. Not even high-pitched, which he had learned he could hear recently with his new ears.
So, it wasn't a machine, so Loki switched genres. He tried to remember the force field in the other cartoons he had been allowed to watch. Digimon had force fields, in a pyramid run by the bad digimon. But again, that had been a machine. Well, all Digimon had been part of a machine really, since they were in a digital world....but he was getting off topic.
As Loki sat there and glared at the door, trying to focus his erratic thoughts, the door opened, and Loki blinked as the subject of his curiosity stepped through the door.
"Evening, Kasawa-kun." Sensei bowed just outside the door, and Loki jumped to his feet, standing on two of them and letting the fur retract from his paws to reveal humanoid hands, except for his right that was missing skin and muscle, so that he could perform the greeting bow properly.
"Greetings, Matsumoto-Sensei." Loki replied, and then waited in the bent position for the acknowledgement to raise, but Sensei did not give it immediately, and that was a bad sign. Sensei never made students stay in the awkward bow unless he was punishing them...and that also meant they may have to wait out an entire lecture.
Sure enough, after a few seconds pause, Sensei sighed and began. "Loki, what have you done to yourself?" Sensei paused again, but Loki knew not to answer. "I always knew you were hollow, that something was missing inside you, something broken at birth, but....to become a demon upon your death? I never imagined such a thing, and told myself that I was simply seeing things when I saw you at the festival, but such hopeful thinking is perhaps what brought this about. Your mom and I should have been harsher with you, forced you to understand the world faster, and then perhaps your death, and this subsequent fate, could have been avoided." Sensei sighed again.
"But what's done is done. There is no changing the past, and we must atone for our sins. You too must atone, Kasawa-kun. For I imagine, despite our best attempts to instill some sort of morality in you, upon your transformation the great gaps left untended asserted themselves and you have done some bad things. I could see as much in your eyes when you turned on me this afternoon." At this, Sensei paused again, and Loki heard him take a step into the shrine during the silence. His whole body stiffened, in response, feeling the confusion and guilt worm into him.
He had done something wrong again. That's what Sensei was saying, that he had committed some bad that anyone else would have known was wrong. Except him, cause he was broken. That's what they always said, "You have to work hard, pay attention, and learn faster, because there's something broken in your heart, and that scares people, so you must learn to hide it. Become normal, Loki, sooner. For Mommy. Become normal and fit in." But he wasn't normal, and he had messed up again. And now Sensei was going to punish him for it. Again.
Loki felt an extreme urge to fidget as Sensei moved closer, but he didn't move. He had learned discipline at least. He didn't even flinch as he felt Sensei's hand coming down on his face, but then, as the hand approached, it slowed down and turned gentle, cupping his chin and pulling it upwards. "Stand, Loki Kasawa-kun." Sensei said, and Loki straightened, tilting his head to the side in confusion as Sensei looked up at him with sad eyes. Sensei had never had to look up at him before.
"Loki, I cannot change you back into a child anymore than I can restore life to whatever victims you have accumulated. But what we can do is put both their deaths and your transformation to good use." Sensei smiled up at Loki, and moved his hand to his shoulder. "Just as you killed those two demons out there, so you can use the strength in this body to do so again. " Sensei said as he squeezed the muscles under his hand, but then his eyes snapped to Loki's, a fierce glare pinning Loki to the ground. "But you cannot feed as they do, killing and devouring souls. You must promise me this! You must swear never to kill another innocent, or devour another human soul again! If you cannot, I will consider our relationship ended, do you understand?"
It was the worst thing Sensei had ever said to him. No matter how he messed up before, Sensei had never said anything about leaving, about ending their friendship. The very thought terrified him, and he quickly nodded yes to Sensei's question as his whole body began to shake.
"Then what am I saying?" Sensei demanded, and Loki did flinch this time.
"That you'll go away, that I'll never see you again if I mess up. If I mess up this promise you'll leave, like everyone else." Loki's voice broke suddenly, and he felt a few sobs tear through him at just speaking the words. Then the terror washed over anew and his sharpened fingers gripped Sensei's arm hard, drawing blood, but Sensei didn't move as Loki's eyes began to plead. "Oh Sensei! Please don't leave me. Don't run away like everyone else. No one else will play with me! No one but you, Mommy, and Minami! But Mommy's always busy, and Minami's gotten a new friend she likes more, so if you leave, I'll be all alone! Playing alone isn't as fun as playing with you! Please, I'll do anything, Sensei, just don't leave me!" Loki broke into shaking fits and harsh sobs that came out wrong from his lupine throat. His hand dug in farther into Sensei's arm and he could smell the scent of blood grow stronger.
Loki's terror grew even more, the sobs getting more violent, as Sensei's silence stretched, and then final, Sensei spoke. "Then you must promise me, and tell me what you are promising." Sensei demanded, and Loki looked back up at him, not knowing what to say until understanding washed over him. And suddenly he thought he knew what he might have done wrong. His eyes jumped to the blood oozing from Sensei's shoulder and he released it like it had burned him.
"Killing....is bringing blood?" Loki asked, staring at the red liquid, and Sensei nodded in his peripheral vision.
"But it is more than that Loki. Killing is when their eyes go cold, when their breathe stops. When you cannot longer find a heartbeat. Killing is hurting them a lot." Sensei explained.
"Killing....is bad?" Loki continued, but this time Sensei shook his head, and Loki's eyes snapped over to his.
Sensei looked back, locking gaze to make sure Loki was paying attention. "Killing is not bad, but it is final. When you kill someone, you make them go away forever. Remember your dad, how he left forever against his will? That is because someone killed him. Someone hurt him a lot and he died. If you kill someone without reason, that is bad, because it is a waste of human life. However, if you make the right thing go away forever, it can be good. Like the man who killed your dad. The government killed him, and it was good, because it meant he could no longer kill for no reason. Killing for no reason made him evil. Killing evil is not bad. Understand?" Loki looked at him for a moment, letting it soak in, before nodding.
"So you must promise me not to kill for no reason, okay? Promise only to kill evil, and in return I will help you find something else to eat. Understand?" Again, Loki paused for a moment before nodding, and this time, Sensei relaxed, a rare smile breaking his rough demeanor. "That's the Loki I know." And with that he hugged him, and Loki hugged him back, being careful not to jab him with his deadly claws. Killing Sensei would definitely be bad, right?
As if Sensei could read his mind, he stiffened, broke the hug and looked back up sternly at Loki, but instead of mentioning Loki's question, he added something else. "And no eating already dead human souls. I imagine demon souls are more nutritious anyways, but you must promise not to eat the human souls we encounter. That is considered killing." When Sensei glared at him this time, Loki quickly nodded, and hoped for another smile and hug, but Sensei had gone back to normal and released him, stepping away and turning from him.
"You will stay here for the day, and tomorrow night we will go hunting, so sleep well. I will come for you when it is time." Sensei announced, and then firmly shut the door to the shrine behind him. He also put the force field back up for when Loki moved to test it, he was blown back again.
And that was how Loki spent the rest of the night: either pacing before the door in contemplation or happily ramming into it to see it in action again. He ended up with quite a few bruises before the night was out, and no more answers, but he didn't mind. It only further confirmed that Sensei was indeed a supreme being, and Loki was happy he had decided to keep playing with him.
To an outside observer, however, it just looked painful and dumb. And hilarious as hell, and he had to excuse himself through the back wall or he would have given the whole game away before it was time, because, for all this Loki Kasawa seemed to be to his prey, to him, he was the best entertain he had yet to come across, and he smelled just as tasty. With that thought, his stomach grumbled, and he reluctantly left to choke down something not so tasty, which he swore would be the last one before he tasted the feast he had found, but as with every night, it was not the last, and would not be for a few nights more.....
