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 Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt2

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MaxTheDemon

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Male Number of posts : 61
Age : 25
Location : Somewhere...
Registration date : 2009-10-21

PostSubject: Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt2   Tue Jun 08, 2010 6:08 am

Shadows flanked the sky as Max sauntered into his barracks which was shared with many others. He glanced around, entering the main area of the sleeping quarters, many of his Squadmates surrounding him as they either slept, finished sleeping, or prepared for the new day with quiet meditation. The sun was reaching into the sky with clawed hands as he opened his lock-box and placed his katana and other valuable items within it, but as he did so, he noticed a box laying within it, very long and tall. He pulled it out and opened it gingerly, unknowing what lay within... As it creaked open on oiled hinges which gave an aroma of sword cleansing oils, he looked within, a new darker and more sickening aroma coming to the front. The aroma of decay and dried blood... What lay before him was the head of a hair-shaven man with deep inlaid eyes and dark appalling accusation within them.

On the forehead was carved the symbol of the yakuza House Soroni. Max sneered into the dark figures, shaped into a permanent look of horror and fear... Max noticed something hanging from the mouth and pulled a bamboo tube from within. As he examined it, he noticed a piece of paper hidden within it and pulled it free, reading its contents. The damp and yellowed paper wore the following in a neat scrawl:

Dear Maximus Ariya, betrayer of House Ariya,
I come to you in anger and disgust at your choice of life. House Ariya is murdered and you turn to join the shinigami dogs, well, I have chosen a different life, and you will pay for your sins before me. If you wish for no others of the traitorous dogs of House Soroni which helped in the butchery of the great House Ariya, then come forth, come to the place we met before. Come to the ruins by the river and we shall finish what we began there.
Sincerly, Anonymous


Max sneered as he finished reading the scrawled note, his anger rising. He was training to avenge House Ariya, whomever questioned his honor in this deserved death. He would go there for his honor, not for some damned pack of murderers. Max snarled and closed the box, hiding it from wandering eyes and took his items, turning to make his way to fight this foe for once and all...
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Yorudan

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Male Number of posts : 153
Age : 30
Location : US of A
Registration date : 2009-09-19

PostSubject: Re: Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt2   Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:37 am

This was a decent addition to your series but not much happened that hasn't happened before. You found a letter which is different but not all that interesting.

There wasn't much eloquence, imagery, or effort in this piece.

There was one part that caught my attention though. "I have chosen a different life."
So could this person possibly be a former Ariya Yakuza member? o_O

6 EXP

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Yorudan
Level 2
EXP 12/50
Unseated Officer
Age: 42
Shikai:  Saihoushi , Shitateya, Cut the strings that fasten...
-Spirit-
hp 20
reiatsu 20
-Body-
strength 5
agility 7
endurance 0
reiatsu control 0
-Skills-
swordsmanship 12
unarmed 0
kido 0
shunpo 0
"To truly master your blade, your mind must be sharper than the edge of your instrument."
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