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 Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt 3

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Male Number of posts : 61
Age : 26
Location : Somewhere...
Registration date : 2009-10-21

PostSubject: Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt 3   Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:57 pm

The new day had reached its full height by the time he reached the ruins where he was meant to meet his most distasteful foe. The smoke-charred battle-zone would be brought more destruction on this violent meeting, hell would come upon this place, but Max could not perceive the difficulty he would face in the foe...

Max drew his main blade taking a defense stance as he strode through the wreckage. Shadows dwelled within the broken buildings, each a possible enemy, each possibly hiding his foe, but as he halted in the center of the wreckage his foe stepped out before him...

"Maximus Ariya," it spoke, and through the mask, any semblance of gender or recognition was lost, "Today I begin the vengeance needed to be wrought, if only you had made the choice to help!"

"Choice?" Max said, his face shaped in confusion, "What choice have I made to anger you? Where you of our Yakuza? Were you one of us? All my choices are made for the betterment of our Yakuza, to live, to keep living, for as long as we live so too does our Yakuza, so too does their legacy of strength. Carry their name like a torch to the universe, let all know of your strength and that you wield it in honor of the Ariya Yakuza!" Suddenly his foe surged forwards, a blast of blue kido fire slamming into him...

"You have no damn right to EVER speak the name of Ariya Yakuza!" screamed the filtered voice in pure rage, "I will kill you, I will purge your name from all history, you will not exist!" The blue kido was blocked partially by his blade, but suddenly, his foe was gone. Max through his glance around, searching for it when suddenly, he was attacked from the side by a strike he took full on. Max's side erupted in pain, burns painting across his skin...

Max let out a deep roar and surged forwards, a chant on his lips... His foe shot another shot of blue flame and he dodged left, coming still at blinding speed. His foe was too slow, not bringing guard in time to deflect the strike, his blade cutting into their right arm and being sent flailing backwards... Suddenly a strike of blue flame hit him in his back, as he fell he looked around, his opponent had gone, but how had they moved so fast?!

Before he had time to think it through another shot flew out at him which he hastily blocked... Seeing the perpetrator he decided to put an end to this, but as he surged forwards and collided violently with the attacker, another shot struck out at him which he fended off with his second sword... But this attack came from a different direction and his foe remained ahead of him... Which put a second opponent in the area... It began to make sense and a plan formed in his mind... A new chant coming to his lips, completely disregarding the original... As he pushed his foe they locked blades, locked in a standstill until he swung his second blade around and hammered into his foe's defense, sending them flying backwards into another ruined structure... He gave chase near-instantly while his foe was still dazed, and as he stabbed his blade into his foe's sword arm he finished his chant...

"Bakudo 22: Kyomon!" Max shouted, a reiatsu barrier surrounding the two of them, he twisted his blade slightly and put his other sword to the foe's neck as a threat against fighting back...

"Who are you?" Max ordered as the pain shot through his victim's body... They spasmed and he released the pain for a moment.

"I am your executioner!" spat the filtered voice, the connection hitting him as the other foe beat vainly beat on the barrier with blue fire. Max could not believe hit, his hand reaching down and removing the mask, the face staring up at him in rage...

"X-Xanthe?" he said as the golden-framed oval face stared up at, reading his reaction. Max fell backwards in a defeated motion... She was his lover, the girl he'd taken as his whenever he took position as head of the Ariya Yakuza... He'd thought her dead, he couldn't believe she lived...

"Yes," she whispered, "Thats twice now you've hurt me. Once the first time we fought here, the second as you tortured me here..."

"I-I d-didn't..." Max whispered curling into a ball, "S-so thats why you think its my fault, because I went to save the dead Soroni..."

Max glanced around, looking into the sky, watching as a third figure, the one he'd wounded, joined in the futile attempts to crack the barrier... They stopped finally, seeing the violence within had ceased...

"I didn't know who they were, who you were, all I saw was a mysterious figure killing what looked like innocents..." Max whispered as if unsure if he could live with himself, "Should I have? Have I truly?" His thoughts rambling around as his mental walls began to collapse within him, she moved slowly, grabbing her arm, and slammed the barrier, destroying it... The other two came down slowly and his mind finally returned...

"I am Ariya Yakuza Lord Maximus, and I order the three last of our Yakuza to retake your oath to me, whom rightfully claims Ariya Yakuza as my own by line of succession!" Max said standing, his remorse wiped away in the moment of the others descent. The three of them looked at him, two unreadable masks and a puzzled woman stood before him... Xanthe looked to the two standing before him and knelt...

"I, Xanthe Decious, pledge myself to Maximus Ariya, new and legitimate lord of House Ariya Yakuza," she whispered, the rest of the oath swallowed up by the voice of the second figure, whom was uninjured, removing their helmet and kneeling, showing a shock of crimson hair and piercing emerald eyes...

"I, Victoria Rielly, pledge myself to Maximus Ariya, new and legitimate lord of House Ariya Yakuza," she stated, repeating each line of the pledge alongside Xanthe. As they finished they looked to the final, whose arm was bleeding, and waited for their response... The third figure sighed heavily and removed their mask, revealing ravenous hair and blood-colored eyes... Her face was tan and closely resembled Max's...

"Alexandria, your alive?" Max whispered, taken aback further, as she knelt and spoke the oath...

"I, Alexandria Ventris, pledge myselt to Maximus Ariya, new and legitimate lord of House Ariya Yakuza," she spoke, beginning the recital of the pledge and as she did, Max looked over the three of them... What had begun as a battle for revenge ended in the resurrection of his great house...

"As for the reason you had come at me as a foe," Max said in a commanding voice, "I am no traitor, I seek to bring strength to the Ariya name not only in Rukongai, but in Seireitei as well, and one day, I shall hold our name in the highest ranks of the Gotei 13... We shall continue the legacy of Ariya Yakuza, but we shall do it my way... Of that, I will swear to you a blood oath." Max looked over them, he had been in the worst battle of his life, and nearly killed by two of the most important people in his life, his lover, Xanthe, and his sister, Alexandria...
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Male Number of posts : 61
Age : 26
Location : Somewhere...
Registration date : 2009-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt 3   Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:50 pm

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Male Number of posts : 153
Age : 31
Location : US of A
Registration date : 2009-09-19

PostSubject: Re: Maximus Ariya, Dance of the Shadows prt 3   Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:44 am

There wasn't much training in this for me to really see it as being a training post. Seemed more like an omake. Your character learned nothing skill wise, showed nothing extraordinary, etc.. He had a brief battle with an old flame but the majority of the post makes this seem like an omake.

Still, I'll grade it as a single person spar.

I was a disappointed at how boring this one was. The action really wasn't that great and for me the most exciting part was the reveal towards the end.

The imagery could have used a bit of work, but as always your eloquence was great. You gave an average amount of effort but from a creative stand point you could have done better.

13 exp

+2 exp Just for peaking my curiosity. It will be interesting to see how you will be able to balance being a leader of a criminal organization and a member of the Gotei 13

15 EXP afro

Level 2
EXP 12/50
Unseated Officer
Age: 42
Shikai:  Saihoushi , Shitateya, Cut the strings that fasten...
hp 20
reiatsu 20
strength 5
agility 7
endurance 0
reiatsu control 0
swordsmanship 12
unarmed 0
kido 0
shunpo 0
"To truly master your blade, your mind must be sharper than the edge of your instrument."
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